In some cases, it is enough to cry only one time for a person. A second time wouldn't reveal anything else. In those cases, it's wise to make notice of how quickly that extra toothbrush in your bathroom sink gets thrown in the garbage bin and a new extra toothbrush effortlessly takes its place, maybe even before you can fantasize of it in the little ceramic vase. You look at this new extra toothbrush, at the new hairs in the drains and the floor of your room that you know are not yours, the cup for the tea that he left on the kitchen counter, the plastic case of a pair of underwear that he bought from the mini market round the corner cause you both hadn't thought that he would stay so long this time and now it's still on the floor. And though you still remember the previous smell on your sheets, the previous warmth of the skin, the previous curves of the eyelids that you so contemplated about, just on your own to yourself, that you so wished for them to open in the morning and speak the same language, though all the details are way too crystal clear in your mind, it suddenly effortlessly doesn't matter anymore. Those new eyelids open in the morning and speak the same tongue. The new smell isn't just foolishly seductive, it's more human, real, and it's always there and it smells the same when you fall in bed with him till he walks out the door in grief of having to go away. If there's one thing I missed in men the past few years of my life, it's the consistency of a solid personality. I missed dealing with a guy that would be as certain of his probably excessively risky but passionate choices as I am. Give me some consistency. I need consistency. I need a strong character I can work with. I need someone to motivate me to be a better person again. Enough with the drinking. Enough with the deals. Be mine. And me. I should be me.
"Eva I want to see u tomorrow"
"Eva I want to see u tomorrow"
